Stop the Pigeon...

Just recently, I have found myself ducking out of the way of low flying pigeons far more often than I used to. They come swooping along at head height and I find myself looking these feathered rats straight in the eye as they bear down on me over and over again. I'm not sure whether they are competing in some sort of daredevil avian extreme sport. Maybe they are suffering from some sort of mass hysteria resulting in bird vertigo and they are staying at far lower altitudes? Whatever the case may be, I find myself dodging out of the way as they tear past me with an audible swoosh.

Pigeons are by far the most stupid birds that I have ever encountered. They seem to think that danger begins at the end of their cowardly beaks and they fly off in a panic at the slightest movement. They seem to have four basic functions at their command..."UP!", "DOWN!", "EAT!" and "CRAP!" They stomp around in the local park with their twisted clubbed feet and more than once in my life, I have been "Wing whacked" as one flys past me at the aforementioned low altitude. So, although I don't wish bird flu on any of them, I do hope that they get a nasty headache as they crash headlong into yet another shop window. Idiots.